Is your relationship healthy?
No relationship is perfect all of the time but there are signs you can spot that may indicate whether your relationship is healthy or unhealthy.
Why does it matter? It’s important because healthy relationships are good for our wellbeing and make us feel supported and respected. In unhealthy relationships, your partner shows behaviours that may be abusive including being possessive, controlling, belittling or designed to make you feel guilty.
Answer yes or no to the following questions to find out if your relationship is healthy.
My partner: Yes No
Questions 1-6: Give yourself 1 point for every ‘No’
Questions 7-12: Give yourself one point for every ‘Yes’
0 points: Fantastic! Your relationship sounds healthy and, as long as it stays that way you have nothing to worry about.
1-2 point: You may have noticed a few things in your relationship that may be unhealthy, and they may be red flags. Talk to your partner about any concerns and keep an eye out for any patterns of unhealthy behaviour that may develop.
3 or more points: There are warning signs and you may be in an abusive relationship. You won’t experience these behaviours in a healthy relationship. Your safety is important, and you don’t have to cope alone.
Unhealthy relationships can spiral into more and more abusive behaviours. This abuse doesn’t have to be physical. It can include psychological and emotional, physical, financial, and sexual abuse as well as isolating you from friends and family.
If you think or know you are being abused by a partner, ex-partner or family member, East Surrey Domestic Abuse Outreach Service can help you. They are a free, independent, and confidential service for anyone affected by domestic abuse who is living in the boroughs of Mole Valley or Reigate and Banstead.
Call them on: 01737 771350
This organisation is a member of Surrey Domestic Abuse Partnership, a group of independent charities, working together across Surrey to ensure that survivors of domestic abuse are safe, and to build a future where domestic abuse is not tolerated.
In an emergency always dial 999.
You can receive support from Citizens Advice Reigate and Banstead by contacting our free adviceline on 0808 278 7945 (Monday-Friday 9.00-16.00).
To email us: Use an enquiry form at https://www.carbs.org.uk/get-advice/forms/
For self help: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/